The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps
by myinukoi
Summary: Sasuke wants happiness. So the Devil, in the form of a hot blond, grants him 7 wishes. The catch? Sasuke's soul. So all of the brunet's desires are fulfilled, but as expected, Naruto adds twists to each of the Uchiha's fantasies. SasuNaru. DevilUke!Naruto
1. Chapter 1

**title**: The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps

**author**: myinukoi

**warning(s)**: Shounen-ai, language, sexual references

**pairing(s)**: SasuNaru

**disclaimer**: I disclaim.

//**summary**;; Sasuke wishes for happiness. And so the Devil, in the form of a hot blond, grants him seven wishes. The catch? Sasuke's soul. So, all of the brunette's desires are fulfilled. But as expected, Naruto must add some small twists to each of his fantasies. SasuNaru. Yes, DevilUke!Naruto.

-

**¤**

**The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps**

**¤**

_Prologue_

-

_Damn good-for-nothing servants!_

Sasuke cursed and wiped the sweat from his dark brow.

He ignored the dust that penetrated his nostrils, causing a lengthy sneeze-fest, and continued searching through the attic.

_All I ask for is a damn album. 'But Sasuke-sama! It's too duuuusty! I have allergies!' Tch...liars._

He crawled over to another box, being wary of how the low ceiling conflicted with his six-foot-two frame, and once again began his furious rummaging.

He sighed when his search once again turned out futile. "At this rate, how will I ever find that album...?"

A few days ago, he ordered two expensive frames from France, in which to hold his most glorifying pictures of his mother and father. He would place the frames at the base of their headstones in memorialization, seeing as the anniversary of their death was tomorrow.

But, as his luck would have it, sixty percent of his staff was allergic to dust-mites, fifteen percent were too old to do any laborious work, and the remaining twenty five percent was to incompetent to preform any task greater than running a bath and fetching a cup of tea.

He only hired that group because they were willing to do the work _cheap_.

He lived alone in his large mansion. His only (unwanted) social communication resided at work and at home. Funny, because half of the people he talks with on a daily basis, he doesn't even know their name.

"Damn it! Where is that damn photo album? Grrr...!"

The servants and maids scattered across the manor momentarily ceasing their work to shudder at their master's enraged yell. He always got like this when _that _day neared.

"Shit," he threw another empty box to the side, buried his face in his hands, and he began to curse. He cursed the death of his parents, he cursed the album, he cursed his inadequate employees, and he cursed himself...his loneliness.

He sighed. _"What I wouldn't give to be happy..."_

At that moment, a maid came in, her face undeniably flushed. As all of theirs were when they met someone handsome. Had Neji stopped by again?

"S-Sasuke sama!" She attempted to control her breathing. "A blond's at your doorstep."

"Tell Ino to go away." He never allowed his frustrated face to emerge from his hands.

"But Sasuke-sama, it's not Yamanaka-san. It is in fact a mal-"

Just then, the visitor walked into the room. "Oi, Uchiha-bastard! That you?"

Sasuke looked up and only his raised eyebrows and slightly widened eyes expressed his shock.

_My God! That is one fine piece of a..._

The stranger cocked his head to the side, the afternoon light that streamed in from the windows bathed him in a wondrous light. His rare tan skin radiated a golden hue, no doubt real. It was surprisingly easy to identify as legitimate seeing as how many women pranced around Tokyo with false spray on tans, as if their orange palms were invisible. His long, slender legs were clad in tight leather pants and his equally constricting shirt showed off nicely muscled abs. His blond hair, brightened with sun-bleached streaks of white-gold, was askew with messy sensuality. Faint whisker marks were visible on each cheek, adorable if anything...

_Is this_, Sasuke wondered, _an angel...?_

"Could you excuse us?" the unidentifiable man asked with such a cocky confidence, you would have presumed _him _to be the owner of the house.

His unbearably blue eyes sparkled with mischief. Clear, like the heavens.

Undoubtedly an angel.

"It's happiness you want, eh Teme?" his voice resonated with brash arrogance.

"Who are you? Get out of my home." Sasuke answered with cool finality; observant to how the boy's voice carried _'trouble'_ with every bold tone.

"Who am I?" The blond smirked. "Call me He laughed to himself. "Like the fishcake!"

"Well, Fishcake, would you mind leaving my premises."

Naruto pouted. "No. Na. Ru. To. Naruto. You're not that smart after all. Probably one of the reasons you're so miserable." The shock on the brunette's face was now obvious. _His mask was perfect! How could this stranger...?!_

Naruto was shoved against one of the walls of the spacious, yet slightly cramped attic. Dust emerged from the cracks of the walls around them, yet Sasuke ignored it and Naruto just didn't care. The Uchiha's breathing was harsh and his eyes glittered with anger.

"Are you another stalker? Because I'll have you know, that I have had quite enough of your kind!" Sasuke snarled, yet even in his current irate state, he knew no other stalker, hell - no other _person_! - was vigilant enough to make such an assumption, and if so, no one was brave enough to voice it.

Naruto seemed unfazed by the Uchiha's blunt anger and the sparks of humor never left his eyes. "They were right! Your irises _do_ kinda go red when you're pissed."

"They? Who's they?!" Sasuke glared, hating this blond already.

"My horde of minions." Blue eyes rolled as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Sasuke dropped the blond to the unswept floor and his anger dispersed quickly.

"Ah, I see." Sasuke mumbled to himself.

"You do?" Naruto was slightly shocked, but happy nonetheless. It was so tiring to convince humans of these things...

"Yeah," Sasuke chuckled lightly, "you're mentally ill."

Naruto sweat-dropped.

"Give me your last name and I'll call up an ambulance."

Naruto smirked and took his index finger... _Well-manicured,_ Sasuke thought as he looked at his flawless cuticles and accurate nail-length... and poked it into Sasuke's hard chest. The brunette was sent sailing across the room and hit the far-end wall with a '_thud!_' that was just endlessly amusing to Naruto.

"Hahaha...what a weakling!"

Sasuke was befuddled at the man's strength. It was absolutely inhuman!

"_Just what are you...?" _he questioned tentatively.

Naruto was at the other end of the attic, straddling Sasuke's lap, in less than a heartbeat. Now Sasuke was _certain_ he was not human. He pulled Sasuke's face close to his, smirking at his confused expression. Then he turned the pale, handsome face to the right and whispered in Sasuke's ear huskily.

"The devil."

"Devil?" Sasuke spat out with an 'Are-you-serious?' tone.

"Yes. Or Satan, Ruler of the Underworld, Ultimate Tempter, Lucifer, Angel of Darkness, Hades, The Fallen One, Ar-"

"Okay, okay, _Satan_. I get it." Sasuke ceased the blond's boisterous speech, seeing as with every synonym of evil, Naruto's chest seemed to swell even more with pride.

"Yeah, but remember! I also go by Na. Ru. To!"

"Hm...I rather call you that." Sasuke was still weary of this extremely strong, extremely insane, extremely hot blond stranger.

"So, you're unhappy right? What's wish number one?" Naruto stepped back, allowing Sasuke to stand up.

"Wish?" Sasuke was ashamed. He had asked more questions today than he had in his entire lifetime. Instead of a brain, his head buzzed with millions of question marks.

"You do want to be happy, don't you? Isn't that what you want more than anything in the world?"

Black-blue bangs shadowed equally dark eyes, yet a sardonic smile was visible. Sasuke's beautiful face was scarred by pain and loneliness and Naruto was _happy_, in devilish sense, that he would be the one to take that away.

"You can't make me happy." Sasuke mumbled.

"'Course I can! If you make it worth my while..." Naruto waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm not gay. I'm not going to fuck you." The brunette's voice was as monotone as ever.

"Tch..." Naruto's face wrinkled in disgust. "As if I would let myself be contaminated by an unworthy human!"

"Wow. Thanks." Sasuke spat with painfully obvious sarcasm.

"Seven wishes." Naruto offered and Sasuke scoffed.

There was a lengthy moment of silence, spent with Sasuke's brooding and it was ready to end with Naruto's impatience.

Just as the demon was ready to unleash his fury, "What's the catch...for the wishes? What do I have to do?"

He received a cocky smirk, the one that Sasuke was beginning to believe was his signature look.

"Hm..." Naruto nodded his head to the left, to the right, to the left, allowing his blond locks to flop carelessly to each side of his head, as he falsely contemplated. He knew what he wanted, and Sasuke knew he knew what he wanted. But such propositions could not be delivered without any nerve-wracking foreplay to begin with.

"How about...a dollar per wish? Nah. An Armani dress suit? Nu-uh." Naruto brought a long, elegant finger to his plush lips in quite contemplation.

He smirked. "How about your soul?"

Sasuke choked on air, yet he should have expected this. It was the devil, of course!

Wait a minute! Let's back up here! Yes, go ahead and rewind.

Some gorgeous blond trespasses onto your extravagant property, enters your home without permission, calls you out on your misery, throws you against a wall with inhuman strength, straddles you seductively, claims he's the devil, and wants to grant you several wishes in exchange for your soul when you die.

"I," Naruto began. "The almighty Satan, will give you _seven_ wishes for your _pitiful_ soul. Four more than those tight-ass genies! No restrictions to your fantasies, Sasuke! I'm offering you the world at your feet! Ultimate power. This is your only chance to turn your life around." He caught Sasuke's eyes with his serious blue orbs and the Uchiha was mesmerized by the intensity of the stare. "Take the offer. You won't get a chance like this again."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sure that the blond was a nutcase. "I wish for a McDonald's Big Mac and a medium Coke."

Naruto closed his eyes. The attic walls and the dusty floor contorted and began to swirl like multi-colored cake mix. When Sasuke's settings were still once again, he touched a frame on a pure white wall to confirm his destination was real.

The frame read **McDonald's Hamburgers: Over 99 Billion Served**. He turned to the cash register to see a long line filled with people in casual jeans (some in sweat pants; undoubtedly McDonald's more frequent and bigger customers) and Naruto was at the front speaking to a blushing lady at the cash register.

"Big Mac...no. Not the meal. He is so weird. I'm like, 'Get the fries, too'! But, hey! It's his wish! Oh yeah! A Coke too. Medium."

She stared at him oddly, but her blush never faded. He took the receipt and smirked at it.

He walked back over to Sasuke, the line's eyes followed him hungrily, making them momentarily forget their meals.

"Here," Sasuke took the offered receipt and glanced at the number that would be called for his order. He gulped. Three six's.

"666?! 666?! Your meal is ready. 666?!"

Little children giggled at the number.

When Sasuke went to fetch his meal, he was surprised when the employee had her hand held out, expectant.

"Excuse me?" he questioned.

"That will be $4.02 please." (AN: I sure as hell don't feel like dealing with Yen right now.)

His eyes widened and he turned to the blond who was waving his hand in the direction of the worker. "Pay the nice lady, Sasuke."

"Eh? I left my money at home!"

"Stupid!" Naruto pointed and laughed.

Sasuke's face was so red. He had never been so humiliated! That damn...

_...Devil!_

A woman, a year or so younger than him offered him a bill with a coy wink.

"Here's a five. Keep the change," she murmured suggestively.

He ignored her advances, but took the time to get her number and address. To pay her back, he insisted, but she chose to see it as a possibility for a date. Oh well...

He turned to see a still-giggling blond.

"No money! Hahaha...richest entrepreneur can't afford a four dollar burger!_ That's_ rich! Pun intended! Hahaha..."

"What the hell was that?!" Sasuke whispered harshly. "You couldn't even pay!"

Naruto blinked at him. "Of course not. It was _your_ burger. Maybe you'll be more specific with your next wishes, eh?"

This guy was _unbelievable_!

"So...what is wish number two?" Naruto asked, bored with the first one.

Sasuke thought for a moment... then smiled.

-

**¤**

-

//**author's notes**;; Yeah. So this story will kinda be based off of Bedazzled. Which I do not own. Been awhile since I watched it so bear with me.

_Comments? Criticisms? Any kind of damn review?_


	2. Chapter 2

**title**: The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps

**author**: myinukoi

**warning(s)**: Shounen-ai, language, sexual references

**pairing(s)**: SasuNaru

**disclaimer**: I disclaim.

**beta**: Ariii.chan.

//**summary**// Sasuke wants happiness. And so the Devil, in the form of a hot blond, grants him seven wishes. The catch? Sasuke's soul. So, all of the brunette's desires are fulfilled, but Naruto adds small twists to each of his fantasies. SasuNaru. Yes, DevilUke!Naruto.

-

**¤**

**The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps**

**¤**

Chapter 2

_Don't be aroused..._

_By my confession..._

_Unless you don't give a good goddamn about redemption..._

-

Sasuke thought for a moment... then smiled.

"Ah," Naruto returned the gentle smile with a Cheshire grin. "So you already know what you want?"

"Aa..." Sasuke smiled gently.

"Well?" Naruto was beginning to get annoyed. He hated waiting. Patience was certainly not one of his virtues...not that he had many to begin with. The title of Satan pretty much took care of that. "I don't have all day!"

Sasuke's smile disappeared and he glared at the blond devil with minimal effort, seeing as he was obviously too drunk in whatever happiness he believed the blond could grant him.

"I thought you were to stay with me until all my wishes were granted?"

Naruto pouted. "I am."

"Well," Sasuke huffed, "allow me time. I...this is a difficult subject for me." His dark eyes turned downcast and he was obviously in some serious emotional pain.

Naruto jutted out his bottom lip unsympathetically as he played with his fingernails. "Oh yes!" he chuckled sarcatically. "Because the Devil certainly cares!"

Sasuke ignored the insensitive jibe and just as he was prepared to make his wish, Naruto's yellow head popped up and his eyes widened in something Sasuke could only assume to be recognition.

"I totally forgot!" He dug into his pockets, which seemed like an impossible feat to Sasuke seeing as how tight the blond's pants were, and pulled out a small pager.

"If by any chance you require to renounce your wish," Naruto recited from memory - necessary protocol. "Please dial '666' into the pager and the Devil will immediately relinquish your wish and you will return to Satan's current location."

Sasuke looked at the offered pager oddly, but placed it in his pocket. Surely with this wish, he wouldn't need it at all...

"I wish..." Sasuke continued with letting Satan know his next will. "I wish..."

Naruto waited eagerly, wanting to know what fun this could spice up... and then Sasuke finished his statement.

"_I wish my parents were alive..."_

**¤**

Sasuke had closed his eyes after the wish and was awoken in his attic, in the same position he remembered... before the maid had come in, announcing that a blond man was on his property...

Riiight...that same blond man being the devil and granting him seven wishes for his soul.

_Obviously a dream_, Sasuke concluded. _As if I could even consider such a preposterous dream to be true. I guess stress does that to people_...

He scoffed at his momentary idiocy.

He then bit his lip in frustration. _But I really need to find those frames for the death of my parents..._

He pulled out his sleek, thin cell phone from his pocket to check the time and flipped it open. He gasped.

_No way... April 28! Where did the previous day go?! Today's the day of their death!_

He stood up from the dusty, attic floor - being wary of his head - and walked over to the window that loomed over his parents' graves. What he saw nearly gave him a heart attack, ready to send him six feet under right alongside his mother and father.

There, in form fitting gray, overall shorts (and a shovel!), was Naruto! The bottom of the shorts hugged his slim thighs and every time he would bend forward to shove the metal blade into the ground of his parents' currently half-dug graves, the bottom of the jeans would rise up and his cute little butt would wiggle suggestively. The gray, denim cap atop his head did nothing to hide his sunshine locks and it didn't help that he was wearing no shirt under the overalls either.

Sasuke didn't know whether to scream in horror or cum in his pants.

That sunuvabitch, Naruto, was defacing his parents' graves! On the anniversary of their death, no-less...!

...But he was looking soooo good doing so.

His moral fiber outshone his perverted genes, (They're hereditary! Swear!) and he rushed down the steps, ready to pummel the blond into oblivion, but screeches halted him before he even made it all the way down the staircase.

"Ahhhh...omigod! Ruuuuun! Everybody ruuuun!" A maid was screaming.

All 95 of his employees were running out of the mansion. Even the elderly ones put their brittle bones to use. Sasuke couldn't help but scowl during all the commotion. To think those aged assholes could've done more work than what they claimed was possible of them if they actually_ tried._

_Damn good-for-nothing servants!_

He headed to the grave site, ready to figure where all the chaos had originated from (most likely Naruto), when he heard to familiar voices.

"Don't worry, honey. I know you'll catch him. But that Kyuubi case must really be getting to you... How does a cup of tea and a nice massage sound?"

_Kyuubi case? Wasn't that the case Outou-san was working on before he died... fourteen years ago?_

"Sounds wonderful, Mikoto. But please give it to me in the office. I can't take a break from that case at all. That psycho murderer could be killing right now!"

His dad's voice boomed with the justice he was born with.

"Besides," the male voice continued. "I can't let that Arashi man catch him before I do!"

Heh...father always had that rivalry with that Yondaime fellow. It was amusing every time the family would go to the police station to find the two bickering like old men.

"Hahaha...Fugaku. Your competition with him never fails to amuse me. Let's enter the house. Surely Sasuke has returned from the park by now..."

_Eh?_ Sasuke mentally questioned. _Maybe they just lost their memory...? That's fine with me. I'm sure we'll have lots of time to catch up and whatnot. I can't wait to tell mother about how I ran the business. And father would be so proud! I bet they'll—_

Sasuke's train of thought ceased when he saw his mother and father at the entrance door to the graveyard.

_M-mother!! Oh Guh-God! Faaather! You...Th-They are b-b-both...!_

"Ah! There's my little Sasu-chan!" Mikoto cheerily called out for him with open arms, expecting her eight-year-old Sasuke to run into them with childish joy.

And even the twenty-two-year-old Sasuke would have done just that if his mother's arms had more flesh than bone; if her dress was not torn from her shoulders, exposing her decaying chest. Her rib cage was visible through her molted, declining flesh. Her skin was a disgusting -_dead_- mixture between yellow, green, and gray. Around her neck was a thin red slice, the blood clotted from her received beheading. The entire image was made more sickening by the gentle, maternal love in her eyes.

His father was in no better condition. If anything, he came off more horrifying. Fugaku's body was a mess of curdled crimson. His insides spilled out from his gut and his body was horribly mangled. His face was more or less intact, save for the strips of decomposing flesh hanging from his cheekbones. His eyelids were missing and his constant hard glare was more unnerving now (obviously) than ever before. The blood from the gutting he withstood to protect his mother from the assassins begins to drip dark, nearly black, blood on the clean, bleached floor.

"Wow! Is it just me or has my little Sasu-chan grown up?" She wrapped her more-bone-than-skin arms around his neck and attempted to pick him up. In the process, she lost an arm.

"Oh dear..." she bent forward to retrieve it, and Sasuke watched in mute horror as she reattached the separate limb back into its socket with an air of nonchalance. "Someone has been drinking their milk..." she giggled a bit, referring to Sasuke. She then shrugged. "Wish I could say the same for me..."

Fugaku stepped into the room. "That's an Uchiha boy. Always growing and maturing faster than the rest." He rested a bloody palm on Sasuke's head, the crimson was invisible against the frightened man's onyx locks.

"You're awfully quiet, Sasuke," Mikoto commented, heading to the kitchen. Fugaku followed and Sasuke treaded on after his parents. He felt like a puppet with no control of his actions since his brain was anything but functional at the moment.

"In the garden," Sasuke's father took a seat at the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen while his mother looked for a kettle. "I saw a blond girl. She claimed to be your girlfriend?"

"Naruko, I believe her name was." Mikoto piped up as she filled the found kettle with water from the sink and put it on the stove. "Quite the adorable little thing. We invited her over and she's in the garden right now, admiring the flowers..."

For the first time since his parents' revival, Sasuke reacted. He knew exactly of whom they were talking about. "Where is he?"

"'He'?" Sasuke's mother questioned. "It's a 'she', Sasu-chan. _She_."

"Here I am!" A bubbly voice called out and all three turned to meet a blond girl, no younger than twenty, so it should be said, _woman_. She had long blond pigtails. Her orange dress was mid-thigh and danced around her slim legs as she waved at the Uchihas' with cheery gusto. It could have been mistaken for another, but Sasuke knew that no other person in the world had such blue eyes. And besides, that coy wink she sent his way made it all very obvious.

"Ah, Naruko. How nice it is for you to join us. I was just making tea. Would you and Sasuke prefer juice?"

"Yes, Oka-san!" Naruto beamed. "Sasu-chan isn't old enough for tea." She took a seat in the wooden chair right beside the fuming Sasuke's. "I don't want him to get all high-and-mighty. It's my job as his girlfriend to hold him down!"

Sasuke's decaying parents laughed heartily. Fugaku lost a tooth in the process and Mikoto's head slipped off her shoulders.

Sasuke bit back a scream and his eyes were wide in terror. Naruko and Fugaku just laughed even more, causing Sasuke's father to lose even more teeth.

Mikoto's headless body spun around in a circle, while her animated head tried to direct her corpse to its location.

Sasuke felt tears spring up into his eyes but he blinked them back with hardy resolve.

Fugaku finally eased his laughter, but his trailing intestines still shook with tremors of humor.

"Quit fussing, Miko-chan." The senior Uchiha picked up his wife's head and placed it back onto the body. "I'm helping you..."

She cracked her neck back and forth and pouted a bit. "That's been happening so much lately."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Mikoto." Fugaku rubbed comforting circles on the woman's back, leaving rings of red on the back of her blouse. "You probably just need to cut your hair. It might simply be becoming too heavy for that dainty little head of yours."

Naruko laughed harder.

Mikoto growled angrily. "'Dainty little head'? Are you calling me stupid?!"

The Uchiha's first lady fumed angrily, causing her husband to sputter out nervously, his teeth dislodging from his decomposing gums and spilling out onto his feet as he searched for an answer.

Sensing a domestic fight coming on, Sasuke regained his senses and used this opportunity to excuse him and _Naruko_ from the table. They went outside to the garden, Sasuke roughly dragging a giggling blond all the way.

When the 'couple' made it outside to the gravesite's garden, the blond was slammed into the wall at the side of the house.

"Déjà vu, anyone?" Naruto giggled as he once again found himself pressed against a wall and Sasuke.

"What. The. Fuck?" Sasuke growled, and with each word, he slammed the blond against the house, though it only proved to amuse Naruto, if anything.

"Jeez, you don't appreciate this wish either? You're a pretty uptight person, has anyone ever told you?"

Well, yes, people had told him that he...but that wasn't the point! "My p-parents! You sunuvabitch! How dare you... and on this day too!"

Naruto looked at Sasuke through half-lidded eyes, filled with disdain. "How dare I? How dare _you_?! You had the nerve to wake up your parents from their eternal rest, and if anything that's like..." Naruto searched for the word, "..._ultimate_ disrespect, dude."

Sasuke's eyes were glacial.

"Besides," Naruto smirked. "I tried to make them as_ recent_ as possible. If I didn't, they would've come out as straight-up skeletons! You wouldn't have even been able to tell who from whom unless you measured their pelvises! But did I get a thank you? Nooooo!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto, emotionless.

"I don't want this," he whispered, his voice cracked and broken under the immense pressure of emotion that surged through his being.

"Well then," Naruto rolled his eyes and looked meaningfully at Sasuke's left pocket. "You know what to do..."

Sasuke nodded. "Let me...just let me say goodbye to them..."

The blond Satan scoffed. "Whatever..."

As Naruto and Sasuke took the short walk back to the kitchen, the brunet nearly threw up when he saw that his mother and father were kissing passionately. They would stop briefly so Mikoto could spit out the remainder of Fugaku's calcium-deprived teeth. Then their putrid tongues, that were disgustingly darker than their hair, were in each others mouths again, pulsing against their skinless cheeks and visible through the muscles of their mouths.

"Hm..." Naruto titled his head to the side, causing his long blond pigtails to turn to the right as well. "Zombie make-up sex...? Hey, Sasuke? Do you have a camcorder?"

"Het's ho hit hin Hasuhe's hr-hroom... he's prohoby hout hon a hate whit his hirfriend..." the toothless Fugaku sputtered and hissed after they broke their lip-lock.

Sasuke could easily recognize the speech as, 'let's do it in Sasuke's room... He's probably out on a date with his girlfriend...' The young Uchiha briefly wondered how many times his room had been violated by parental sodomy.

"Itachi probably just used it with his girlfriend, Manami, but I think it's clean enough. We'll just make sure it's decent before Sasuke returns home..." Mikoto replied breathlessly through the small kisses Fugaku was placing on her neck (which, once again, was slowly sliding away from her head).

"OH, HELL NO!!!" Sasuke shouted in undisguised disgust. He ignored his (dead) parents who looked at him in shock and he pulled out the beeper, dialing a hasty '666' and watched as his parents, the trails of blood, organs, and green flesh vanish.

Naruto was no longer Naruko. Not that there was much of a difference. The dress, pigtails, and boobs disappeared and the blond_ boy_ was left.

"Well," Naruto went to the stove and removed the whistling teapot, fetching a cup for Sasuke and himself, he poured the tea. "That was interesting while it lasted."

Sasuke grunted out an inaudible 'Hn'. He was obviously too disturbed to say much else. Naruto begin placing sugar cube upon sugar cube into his green tea.

"So..." Naruto took a long, grateful sip from his china cup. "Have you figured out number three yet?"

**¤**

AN: See! It's based off Bedazzled, but I'm trying not to completely copy the movie. Am I doing a decent job?

The lyrics in the beginning are from Puscifer's song **Rev 22:20 **from the Saw II Soundtrack. Cool, huh? But while I was writing this I was listening to The Cranberries's song **Zombie**. Cool_er_, eh?

Both of which I do not own. Because trying to find a lawyer is not cool. At all.

So, do you think the chapter was cool?

xD


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